Just A Dream
by rawritsreem
Summary: Picks up after New Moon. Bella is awaiting Edward's arrival, but what happens if he dissapears, leaving only a note with a few words written on it? Bella is depressed and finds one solution. What happens when Edward finds out what it is? Please R&R.


Bella POV:

I sighed as I sat next to the window, awaiting Edward's arrival, watching raindrops as they trickled down the window. I bit my lip and turned to look at my watch. 12:30. Edward was two and a half hours late. I went back to daydreaming, staring at the full moon outside. I decided I should get some sleep, maybe Edward had to do something important. I climbed into bed and pulled the cover over my head.

_"Bella! Wake up, honey. I have something to ask you. Bella? Bella! Wake up!" I heard a soft velvet voice calling._

_I opened my eyes, only to be met with a pair of beautiful topaz eyes. I sighed and smiled, breathing in the beautiful, sweet scent._

_"Yes, Edward?" I answered._

_He grinned and kissed the tip of my nose, tightening his grip around my waist._

_"Good morning sunshine," he said with a bright smile._

_I grinned in return. "What was so important that you had to wake me up so early?" I asked him, snuggling deeper into his chest._

_He sighed and paused, loosing his smile for a second. I froze and slowly sat up, confusion and worry replacing the happiness in my eyes._

_"What's wrong, Edward?"_

_"Oh! Nothing's wrong... Just that..." he trailed off, staring deep into my eyes._

_In a second he was in front of me on the floor, kneeling and smiling hesitantly._

_"B-Bella Swan, I've loved you ever since I met you. So..." he paused and took out a small velvet box. "Will you marry me?" he finished._

_I gasped and jumped into his arms, hugging him as tightly as I could, knowing he probably couldn't feel anything. _

_"Oh of course, Edward!" I practically screamed, happy that Charlie was out fishing tonight. _

_He grinned, and opened the box, revealing a beautiful ring inside. It was gold with a big heart-shaped diamond with tiny little topaz circles surrounding it in the middle. As soon as he put it on my finger, I felt a pair of cold lips on mine. I grinned and kissed him back. Suddenly I felt something wet and cold on my lips. I gasped and---_

BEEP--BEEP--BEEP

I shot up into a sitting position, my heart racing away, as it felt heavier by the second. Was that all a dream? It felt real. I wiped the sweat off of my forehead and looked at my alarm clock. It was still beeping.

I gave a scream and threw it against the wall, watching it shatter into a million pieces. I put my hand on my chest, feeling my heart beat as I breathed heavily and quickly. Hot tears welled up in my eyes, rolling down my cheeks and dribbling off my chin. I looked at my bedside table and found a whit piece of folded paper.

My eyebrows wrinkled up with confusion as I picked up the piece of paper. I unfolded it and nearly had a heart attack at the words...

'_Bella, I'm going hunting for two weeks with the rest of my family. Don't worry, I'll try to be back early if I can. Love, Edward._' was written in Edward's beautiful handwriting.

Why did Edward have to go hunting again, he already went last week. And for two whole weeks?! He never takes half that time. He usually hunts for only a weekend.

I sighed and placed the paper down. What was I going to do for two weeks? I sighed and sat down on the rocking chair, breathing in the scent of Edward that lingered there.

_18 Days later (Two and a half weeks later)_

I bit my lip, staring out the window. Why didn't Edward and the rest of the Cullens come back yet? I sighed, they were already three days late. I took a deep calming breath and walked out of the house and into my car. I was going to the Cullens' home.

As soon as I got to the house, I shoved open the car door and ran outside. I rang the bell. Nobody answered. I sighed and twisted the door knob. It was open...I opened the door and walked inside. I gasped as I crumbled down to the floor, hot tears rolling down my cheeks, as my whole body started shaking. It was empty. The whole house was empty. No furniture, no Cullens, no sign of any body that has lived in the house. I walked out the house and climbed back into the car.

Why would Edward do this to me again? I thought he loved me... Last time he left, I almost died... Well, this time I'm going to make sure I die. I sped up, making my truck whine louder.

As soon as I reached my home, I ran in, grabbing Charlie's gun and a knife. I ran up to my room, almost tripping a few times. I walked in and slammed the door close, making sure it was locked. I sat on the rocking chair, placing the gun on the ground, but the knife in my hand.

I stared at my shaking wrists and took a deep breath. I held the knife firmly in my hand, placing it to the skin of my inner wrist. I pressed on the knife, dragging it down my wrist, creating a red trail.Tears streamed down my face mixing with my blood. I felt dizzy but I kept on cutting, enjoying the free feeling it gave me.

After many cuts were made on my wrists, and a lot of blood was lost, I began to feel too dizzy to think. I held my nose, blocking out the salty smell of blood and tears. I grabbed the gun and held it to my head, tears streaming down my face even faster.

I stared at the note that I had written for Edward and without a second thought, I pulled the trigger and BANG! Incredible pain filled my body for a second, then relief, as my body fell back against the back of the chair, the gun and my hand falling to my lap.

Edward POV:

I sighed as I stared at my watch. I was already three days late for Bella. I spent the last two weeks practicing... For the proposal. I was going to propose to Bella. I only hoped that she would forgive me after all I've done.

I smiled as I fingered the box in my back pocket.

"Come on, Alice! Drive faster!" I practically yelled at her.

"Edward, I'm driving as fast as I can. You know how much I want to see Bella, too!" she answered in return.

She pulled into the driveway after a few seconds. She undid her seatbelt and zoomed into the house. I took a deep breath and stepped out of the car. Only to hear Alice's high-pitched scream.

I ran quickly to Bella's room, only finding the most horrible sight I've ever seen. Bella was dead. Dead. Literally dead. I took a deep, shakey breath. My throat feeling tight. I swallowed, knowing it would do nothing to ease my pain.

I walked up to the dead body which was soaked in blood. Her wrists were covered in cuts and blood, her face and hair masked with blood. A gun and knife laid in her lap, showing that she really did commit suicide.

I turned the other way, only seeing a message written on the wall. With Bella's blood...

"_Edward I've waited too long. Eighteen days ago I was ready to marry you, but now, I'm only ready to die. You left me once, I almost died. You left me for a second time, I committed suicide. I just hope you'll be here to see and read this Edward, so I know that my blood wasn't wasted over nothing. Say goodbye to everyone for me, Edward. Tell them how much I love them, too. I love you so much, Edward. Much more than you can ever imagine. Goodbye, Edward. I'm just sad that you didn't get to say __you're__ goodbye, Edward."_

I felt something stinging on my cheek. I touched it and realized that they were tears. Tears of venom. Of pain and heartbreak. I fell to the ground, covereing my face with my hands. My shoulders shaking with sobs.

I felt Alice's sobbing body against mine. I looked up to her, tears streaming down my cheek.

"It's not your fault, Edward," she said, her voice wavering with every word.

"Yes it is, Alice! Didn't you read the note? If I hadn't left her we could've gotten engaged and she would be alive!" I sobbed, my whole body shaking.

She kneeled on the ground next to me, wrapping her arms around me in a comforting hug. I wrapped my arms around her as tightly as I could, sobbing into her chest.

After a few hours I finally calmed down, Alice left to give me some time alone. I stared at Bella's dead body. Even in her deth she manages to look beautiful. I gave a loud yell and punched the floor, making a deep dent. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I stared at her. Her chocolate brown hair falling gently over her shoulders and around her body. Her skin looking even paler, but in a more beautiful shade. Her soft cheeks tear-stained. Her small frame looking even more fragile than ever before.

I stood up, my legs feeling shakey under my weight. I stumbled to Bella, my balance seeming to have been stolen from me, along with my heart. I touched Bella's skin. It was cold. I picked up her hand and put it against my cheeks. Blood mixing with the tears on my face. Her scent was even more intense, with the blood out of her body. But surprisingly I didn't feel thirsty or the need to drink her blood. Only sorrow...

I brushed the hair off of her forehead and stroked her cheeks gently, as if brushing away her tears. I touched my lips to her cheeks gently, tasting the salty tears on my lips. I trailed my lips to her lips and gave her a gentle peck. Tears falling down my cheeks even faster. I stroked her blood-soaked hair gently, feeling the smooth texture on my fingers for possibly the last time ever.

Finally I understnd... I understand how Bella felt when I left her the first time. When I lied to her and said I didn't love her. Well, at least she said--wrote that she loves me. I bit my lip as my body shudered. All my fault... All my fault that Bella is dead. If only I had went to her at night that day. If only I would have preposed to her that night. None of this would have happened. I sniffed and stared at Bella's pain-filled face.

All of this because of me and my stuborness. One thing I know right now is that I may--_will_ not ever heal. Bella's death because of me. I always did prefer the choice of Bella dieing rather than turning into a vampire. Well, I got my wish. In the most disgusting, sick way possible. I gave another sob as I burried my face into her hair, breathing in her beautiful scent.

Bella. _My_ Bella gone. All I hope is that she's happier where ever she is right now. I'm sure she is. Now she can live in heaven normally. She doesn't have to worry that her vampire boyfriend might eat her. Or that her werewolf bestfriend might hurt her. She's free now. And I'm not sure that that is what I want right now. I guess I'd rather have her a vampire than dead now.

I laid my head on her lap, tears soaking her blue faded jeans. I shook the hair out of my eyes and sighed, staring out the window. I turned my head from the window and looked at the gun and knife that lay beside my head. The knife was stained with Bella's blood. The gun having only traces of blood on it. This time I really wish that I could die. So maybe, just maybe, I can be with Bella again. But this time, I don't have to worry about hurting her.

I wiped my tears off and suddenly remembered the ring in my pocket. I took out the box and opened it. I picked up the ring and stared at it. It was a band of gold with another band of white gold around it, with a big heart-shaped diamond with tiny little topaz circles surrounding it in the middle. I picked up Bella's limp hand and placed the ring on her finger. I dropped her hand, letting it fall into her lap in it's previous position.

If only she was actually alive. So I could hold her to me and beg her for forgiveness. So I could comfort her and try to cheer her up. So I could kiss her and feel her warmth once again. So I could watch her smile grow when I would show her the ring. But they're all if's. I touched Bella's cold cheek for the last time, wiping a tear off, and ran off.

* * *

**I decided to start writing fanfiction again. When I tried last time, I got flames. So if you're a flamer and you don't like my story, just leave. The 'X-out' button is right there in front of you if you don't like my story. **

**I don't think this was very good, so this might be it. I'm not very creative so if you would like me to continue, please include a few ideas. They're always welcome along with comments.**


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